They say this is the most depressing day of the year. Blue Monday
The older I get the more I struggle with the depths of winter. Once the hullabaloo of Christmas has been and gone I tend to sink into an introvert hibernation: the darker days and all that extrovert activity of December catching up with me. There is always the fear I will sink too far and not be able to function, or fight my way past my gloom.
It’ s not that there is no light around; it sneaks in, peeps briefly through the clouds in a friend’s kindness, the kids’ capacity for joy and affection, damn good food, or wine by the fire. It’s my ability to drink it deeply and let it bring me life that is stunted this time of year.
Those who know me well will know that I am a woman of action, of pre-emptive measures. I should have been a girl guide but no self-respecting baptist back in the day went in for that sort of thing. This combined with the fear of really going down meant I put a lot in my arsenal this year. I have my herbal meds (5HTP and Higher nature’s ‘balance for nerves’), my daily walk, my SAD lamp and a week’s retreat from life (coming this weekend). And, do you know, for me this combination helps. I am not all singing all dancing, but I am above functional and that feels….well, ok actually.